I am now the "official" Mommy to four children, ages 4, 3, 3 and 21 months. That sounds crazy right? I am so ready for a baby. I want one fresh from heaven so badly it makes my aching ovaries hurt! This does NOT mean I am not grateful for my nuggets, I am! They are mine, I love them. I just know we aren't done and I know Vince can NOT be the baby! I want to be able to breast feed so badly! I mean it would be super cool to feel the baby inside me but I have such a STRONG desire to breast feed. Growing up all I ever wanted to do was breastfeed. Being a foster parent breastfeeding is not at option. Maybe this is a strange desire but I get so jealous to see mom's breastfeeding. This has been the hardest thing for me to mourn when it comes to infertility. What has been the hardest thing for you to let go of?