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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Dreaming

Does dreaming horrify anyone else? Or is it just me? I am not talking about those crazy things your brain does while you are sleeping. I am talking about hoping and dreaming, -one day I will have a sports car -one day I will have 8 kids -one day I want to be a astronaut -one day I will be happy -one day my life will settle down -one day I will get a new fridge. Honestly any dream or hope scares the bajeebees out of me. I like to say I am a realist but I am pretty sure I am a pessimist. I don't like being disappointed. When I hear of something 'good' that could happen I think of all the bad things that will happen to prevent that from happening. I often wonder if I bring on my own bad luck, I am sure I do but hoping and 'knowing' better will happen gives me a panic attack. I don't like change. I like things to stay the same. I hate risk. I don't like the unknown. I love predictability.  I crave it and when I don't get it I start rocking back and forth get the tiniest bit bitchy and shut down. I can't be the only non dreamer out there....