We found out our hearts will be walking out the door a week from Tuesday. The two oldest will be leaving. Why can't i just be a mom? How am I supposed to deal with this pain. What about the kids...

Rambling

Okay, so I haven't Blogged in a while. I have a lot going on in my head and have been afraid that it will come out negative. We found out last week that the boys could be gone as soon as the 24th. This breaks my heart, I know it is what we signed up for, but that doesn't make it easier. I just hope I have made a change for the better in their lives and that I have taught them some life lessons. I can't believe how much they have grown in every way in the past two months. Today is two months exactly. It is hard to imagine how our life was before when there was only Blaine, I and the pets. I love these kids so much. I sure hope that when they walk out of this house with my heart in their little sweet hands that a new one grows back soon.

On a lighter note...
We are now the "proud" owners of a trampoline. This may seem trivial to some, however for me I am very anti-trampoline. They scare me, I mean I love jumping on them, kids get hurt so easily on them. The trampoline ownership is a HUGE step for me. Our first rule however is that no other kids can jump on it without written permission from their parents.. that note will also need to include their name signed in blood, and notarized and finger prints and a copy of photo id and insurance card. That isn't going overboard is it? I mainly want it so in the summer we can have camp outs on the tramp. We also have a fire put that i want to get set up so we can roast marshmallows. (roasted peeps are a little piece of heaven by the way)

So I had my first Mother's day as a mom this year. My sweet monsters each got me a daisy and a hug and Hunter made a card for me at school. I also requested to not have to yell at them. They did better then par so no complaints. God really has blessed me with these cute angles.